Tongue Taming

There is a French proverb I believe was quoted by Abraham Lincoln: Think much, say little, and write less. This sentiment behind this wisdom is that words are powerful, and people should beware of how they use language. People who communicate thoughtfully and carefully can better avoid difficulties. To state the obvious, communication mechanisms have changed since the days of President Lincoln. Digital media and social platforms on the internet have introduced the capacity for thousands of times more communication to fly around to multiple millions of people every hour. Lord, have mercy!

In this powerful cultural trend, we are not likely to slow down this expansion of communication. It is up to each of us to take more seriously the power of the “tongue.” The Letter of James in the back part of the New Testament has a strong warning to Christians about the power of the tongue. It is startling how potently this first-century elder in Jerusalem states the teaching:

Look at ships: though they are so large that it takes strong winds to drive them, yet they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great exploits. How great a forest is set ablaze by a small fire! And the tongue is a fire. The tongue is placed among our members as a world of iniquity; it stains the whole body, sets on fire the cycle of nature, and is itself set on fire by hell. For every species of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by the human species, but no one can tame the tongue—a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.  (James 3:4-10, part of this Sunday’s Epistle)

Wow, he says “the tongue is a fire.” One would hate to be the match that started a whole forest ablaze. We hear plenty concerning the ubiquitous occurrences of slander, liable, gossip, and bullying, but it is hard to know how to prevent them. Great damage is done when communities see these things unleashed. Even lesser offenses that do not fit those categories can still be destructive. Careless communication is like that. It seems to me James is calling for the Christian community to use caution and good judgment. He makes an appeal for us to come under the character-refining influence of the Holy Spirit.

Cultivate filters—that is one principle of care. We forget we do not have to say everything that comes into our minds. Communicating is a choice: we should develop the sensitivity that asks, “What good might come from what I am about to say, or what harm?”

Keep confidences—this is a big one. If you have something you know needs to be kept private, then don’t tell anyone. If you entrust something very private to someone, it places a burden and responsibility on that person. You can control what you tell, but you do not influence what another person shares. There are rare instances of the law requiring you to speak up to a professional or authority when someone is in danger. More commonly, it is important to move forward discreetly as though you do not know a thing, when telling another is not required. As regards confidences, you just do not have that information to share. That is not dishonest; it is the practice of discretion.

Be precise with language. Among my sloppy areas are generalization, and exaggeration. Sometimes I am just being light or informal or trying to be amusing, but that is not helpful. With a little care and practice, I can get better. We use phrases such as, “I am certain”, “It is absolutely true”, and “It is a necessity.” The precise meanings of “certainty”, “absolute”, and “necessary”, would properly be used only in the rare places where they literally fit. The list of words I should be using more carefully is long. Precision is difficult but tightening up on saying better what we really mean is important.

What a blessing it is to have the reason and skills for language. People can meet in shared meaning and understanding. Words are the paths that allow us to gather for learning and connection. Perhaps James comes on strong in his letter because he knows how difficult it is to be responsible in how we communicate. We cannot do it for others, we can only do it for ourselves. As he says, with the tongue, we can bless the One who has given us reason and language, and we can curse those made in God’s image. I know being mindful of the power of words will result in a blessing for all.