How Are You? A Question for Spiritual Direction

Think about the questions, “How are you—How is it going—What’s new? When we use these inquiries as greetings in brief on-the-go interactions they are fairly light. Rather than seeking a description of the condition, they indicate goodwill and our hope the other is well. On another level, in a different context, these are serious and valuable questions about a person’s well-being. When I ask myself, “How am I, truly?” I open an exploration: perhaps an examination of my condition physically, spiritually, and emotionally.

Thank God for the gift of the mind—the gift of rational thought! Language and cognition allow us to consider our place in life, and relationships with others. We fit in somehow with our environment and situation; we relate somehow to other people and ourselves. If we are people of faith, we think about how we fit in with God and with existence itself. Remember too that such an exploration is not restricted to your inner thoughts, by yourself. You can make these discoveries in conversation with a trusted friend.

I am sure you are familiar with the value and positive power of good conversation. When you are thinking on your own it is a wonderful employment human thought. When you engage in a thoughtful conversation, this adds some extra elements. You form your thoughts in ways that another can comprehend, which can enrich the thought process. You also have the advantage of a few thoughtful questions or responses. The best conversations involve thoughtful expression and deliberate, active listening. In this context, questions like, “How are things with you?” are not throw-away greetings, or polite signals of goodwill. Rather, such questions invite a valuable opportunity for engagement and discovery.

Have you ever heard Spiritual Direction? It is an ancient art, and practice of friendship in the Spirit. One friend comes alongside another for the soul’s sake. The person from whom I received training in the practice, Teresa Blythe, explains that “Spiritual direction is about taking time to reflect on your life’s journey with someone who provides support and encouragement along the way.” She illuminates further that Spiritual Direction can help a person become more aware of where the Divine is active and moving in that person’s life.  Episcopal priest, Tilden Edwards, who founded the Spiritual Direction training for the Shalem Institute in Washington D.C. says this about it:

“We yearn for a soul-friend with whom we can share our desire for the Holy One and with whom we can try to identify and embrace the hints of divine Presence and invitation in our lives.”  —Tilden Edwards

You can begin spiritual direction at any time if you wish. Doing so, you are launching a kind of companioning in your life of faith, and we should clarify, you will be the explorer; you will be making the discoveries. A spiritual director is not directing, but mainly listening and facilitating the exploration of the seeker. That is why in some circles the art is called “Companioning” rather than “Direction”. The prayerful solitaries of the deserts in Egypt and areas of the Holy Land were sought out by small groups or individuals for spiritual assistance. Seekers wanted to have a word with these women and men of deep prayer. This desert spirituality is an important root for the Christian expression of the universal experience of the soul-friend. Even Jesus’ way of challenging and caring for the disciples is a touchpoint for this practice.

Most directors charge a reasonable fee for their sessions, which is fitting. Given my position as Associate Rector of St. Francis Church, I choose not to receive payment for direction: it is fully connected to my ministry as a parish priest. I completed my training and certification for direction through the Hesychia School for Spiritual Direction in June of 2020. I currently am working with many people, and I have been in the spiritual direction myself for several years. If you have any interest and questions, be in touch with me. I would love to discuss it with you. Know too, there are many trained and effective spiritual directors, any of whom, you could engage. The Diocese of Texas trains spiritual directors through a program called FIND, and you can seek a list of their directors through the diocesan website. Also, The Cenacle, here in town has cultivated The Emmaus Spirituality Center. Among their programs they train spiritual directors, so they would have a list of prospective directors as well.

You should know that this direction is not professional counseling. Spiritual direction is a wellness practice, not a problem-solving practice. In this companioning, spiritual directors hear about problems, to be sure, because the seeker is free to express, but the objective is not to fix anything. My trainer teaches that problems are like storms at sea—expected from time to time. The director may help the person navigate the ship in the storm, but cannot and will not steer the boat for the person. She says, “Spiritual directors expect that God and the individual will weather the storm together.” (Theresa Blythe, Spiritual Direction 101, p. 9) I would be there to help you notice how the spirit is leading you during the situation. We would be asking about the sacred invitation you might locate in the situation.

I am available for clarification and to set up sessions of spiritual direction. This offering is one on one, which is the common and classical way, but I am also hoping to launch a group experience mode of spiritual direction on Saturday, September 18th at 10 AM. I call this form of spiritual enrichment “Holy Listening.” We will meet monthly on the third Saturday of each month. People ask us all the time, “How are you?” One thing we know is that paying attention to God’s movement in our lives, however, things are going, we discover, we are in God’s love and care.