A Growing Sense of the Other
Strengthening Connections Friday, April 16, 2021
A Growing Sense of the Other
When we come to know another person, the evolution of that relationship has a progression all its own. Most of our connections and relationships are not complex and involved, but the closer people are, the more there is to the connection, to be sure. Just concerning the conversation, there is a kind of evolution. Small talk comes first because it is pretty safe. “Did you watch the game last night?’ someone might say, or “Not enough rain today to water my yard, just enough to make it feel muggy.” Small talk is nice and comfortable.
A deeper kind of exchange has to do with sharing one’s line of thinking. I know the general climate in the culture can make this a little tricky, but you can adopt your own skills at sharing thoughts without causing a row, perhaps. You can imagine yourself holding up your book and telling a friend, I have been reading this and it has me re-thinking the value of fine-arts in children’s education; have you read it?” You have a little more on the line with exchanging thoughts that you have than with small talk.
An even deeper kind of exchange is the kind where you are describing feelings. This happens best among those you know well, and trust because we experience some vulnerability when we reveal our feelings. When the conditions are right, this kind of sharing in a conversation is important in a developing friendship.
As I have thought about each of the stories of the resurrected Lord, Jesus appearing to his disciples in the scripture readings of services this year, I have thought of them as opportunities for evolving relationships between the disciples and God. These followers know Jesus, but they are also coming to know him. They are finding a deepening awareness of his presence in their experience. Look at the following passage from our upcoming Eucharist on Sunday:
Jesus himself stood among the disciples and said to them, “Peace be with you.” They were startled and terrified, and thought that they were seeing a ghost. He said to them, “Why are you frightened, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? Look at my hands and my feet; see that it is I myself. Touch me and see; for a ghost does not have flesh and bones as you see that I have.” And when he had said this, he showed them his hands and his feet. While in their joy they were disbelieving and still wondering, he said to them, “Have you anything here to eat?” They gave him a piece of broiled fish, and he took it and ate in their presence. —Luke 24:36b-42
The disciples experience the one they have been following for three years. But now, they have only just begun to absorb that he is alive, and real, having been raised from the dead. They see him. They hear him speaking. Then he invites them to know him by other senses and perceptions. He says, “Feel me and see; ghosts have no flesh or bones as you can see that I have.” Then he says “Have you anything here to eat?” and he took a piece of broiled fish from them, and ate it before their eyes. He was broadening their experience of him so the reality of him in their ongoing lives could begin to be processed and enjoyed.
You and I are not expanding our relationship with God who is the spirit in this realm of the five senses. But God is, nevertheless, letting us absorb what the Holy One is revealing to us. We do not have stagnant relationships with God. We don’t have to settle for plateaued spiritual experiences. Our encounters with the divine Other can move, grow, and go deeper. Our life together with our family of faith, our own personal exploration in prayer and study will be part of this expansion. God invites us to engage in the relationship offered. Not in literal ways, but in very real ways, you are being invited by Jesus to feel and see him, and even to share the closeness like that of a shared meal. Let us grow our sense of Jesus in our lives.